Golden thoughts

  Oji a.k.a. Kola nut : A national treasure. One of my earliest memories takes me back to nursery school.

When you say your names to yourself, do they sound like you? Do they remind you of who you are?

Some days ago, I had a really busy day and by night time, all I wanted was to send the kids off to bed and put my feet up. However, I was running a little late on their bedtime schedule and, since I didn’t want any mealtime drama, I decided on fixing them really fast food for dinner. Nwando wanted the egg sandwich I offered, while the little boss man wanted some cereal instead. Soon the sandwich was ready and immediately she took the first bite, she said, “Mummy, everything you cook is delicious. That makes me think you’re special.” I wasn’t exactly surprised by that declaration, because she says such things a lot of the time. However, because I hadn’t been expecting it, it was an awww moment for me. Grinning from ear to ear, I came to her, hugged and kissed her and was rewarded with a huge smile. Ikem was not to be outdone. He immediately stopped riding around on a tricycle and said, “Mummy, thank you for making Cerelac for me.” Since he started talking a lot clearer, ...

Growing up, I enjoyed playing Mancala aka ncho. Whenever we travelled to the village for Easter or Christmas holidays, my siblings, young uncles and aunties, cousins and I would dig holes in the ground for this. We would use pebbles specially picked for this and we would play one game after another, for hours on end. Years later, my mum bought a game of ncho for us. This was a wooden board, shaped like a tortoise and my siblings and I had lots of fun with it. When I saw this board game in a store about two months ago, I was quick to purchase it in a bid to re-create some of that fun. I told Nwando it was a family game. The sound of that, for some reason, got her excited. For a while, she reminded me that I hadn’t fulfilled my promise of teaching her. So, some weeks ago, I finally opened it. The board was plain but shiny and inside there were beautiful glass pebbles. We took the game into their room and played there. It was fun teaching her how to count her pebbles and try to...

A few mornings ago, I heard a sound alert on my phone that indicated that I had an email but I ignored it. After a while, I heard another alert, indicating that another email had just come in so I picked my phone and saw that the emails were notifications of comments on two articles on this blog. One of them was by an anonymous person and I already suspected what it would be. I was right. The anonymous comment was a spam comment, one of which I've been getting somewhat frequently, lately. Usually, links leading to phishing sites are embedded in them. Luckily, blogger recognizes them and moves them to the spam folder. Unfortunately, other times, anonymous comments that are 'clean' get moved to the same folder and I would have to move them out of that folder before they can appear on the post.

Some weeks ago, I went to a circus with my family. It promised to be an interesting experience so we all looked forward to a fun evening. By the time we got there, a few animal right activists were already stationed around the parking lots with placards that denounced ill treatment of animals. I  wasn't  bothered by that, really, because I’m not wired that way. Anyway, we took our seats and after we settled down, one of us went to get popcorn and drinks for the rest of us. One thing was certain, we  couldn't  wait for the show to start and we were not the only ones. The mood in that large tent was anticipatory as all around us, people settled in. There was a huge elephant on the stage, giving rides to kids and my adventurous Nwando  wasn't  to be left out. She asked if she could go on a ride and was thrilled when she got a ‘yes’. Off she went with her cousin while the Mister tagged along as the paparazzo.

A little over a month ago, I went on a trip with my family that involved flying for over ten hours at a stretch. Besides the fact that the flight was long, it was uneventful. Since it was already late by the time the disembarked, we spent the night in that city. Early the next morning, we had to take a flight out to get another city, where we took yet another flight to our final destination. Exhausted, I fell asleep almost immediately we boarded the last plane but was awakened, after a while, by sharp pain in my ears. This wasn't the usual strange sensation I get sometimes in my ears in airplanes and which cleared up with ear-pops when I swallowed or yawned. This felt more like there was intense pressure in ears that were blocked and that hurt a lot. As if the pain wasn't enough, my hearing started to go gradually. That was very scary. Initially, I could hear muted sounds of people chatting in the airplane but even that gradually faded till I could barely hear a thing.

Whenever I send Nwando on an errand that I’m sure she can handle, and she quickly comes back to say that she couldn’t do it, I always tell her to go back to the chore and complete it. Each time that happens, she returns to the task, puts her back to it and is usually successful in the end. That always thrills her to bits. So, some time ago, I taught her to always pump a fist and say “I can!” when faced with any challenge. On rare occasions, I show her how she can effectively take care of whatever it is I have asked of her. At those times too, I get a fist pump and a victory shout from her. That means that these days, when she tells me she’s not able to do a particular thing, all I need to ask is, “Do you remember?” before her face lights up. Then, she gives a fist pump and says, “I can!” and runs off to do what I asked her to do. Yesterday, when we had such a moment, I remembered a Bible verse that had served me well on various occasions and shared it with her. Phillipians 4...

About a week ago, I noticed Ikem in their room trying to scribble on a book. He was having a hard time with it because as I quickly noticed, the lead at the tip of his pencil had broken off. I took the pencil away from him to sharpen it for him. He quickly came after me and started throwing the kind of tantrum only an almost-two-year old can pull off. Crying and stamping his feet, he insisted that I give it back. I didn't say a word to him as I continued sharpening the pencil. As soon as I was done, I gave it back to him and the crying ceased immediately. Looking at the pencil, he quickly noticed the difference, rewarded me with " tan tan " and went back to his book. There are a number of things that I am waiting for. Some of them are dreams which are really important to me so I'm excitedly looking forward to them coming to life. Others are little irritations that I can't wait to do away with. This morning, I had a reason to think about one of those impo...

Two days ago, Ikem poured a lot of baby powder all over the floor of the room I share with the Mister. Now, the floor of that room is made of shiny wood so the mess made by that was very visible. When I gave Ikem 'the eye', he gave me the cutest smile. I was having none of that so with those eyes still trained on him, I said, "Ikemsinachi, come here." Meanwhile, what is it with mothers saying a child's full name when he's in trouble? I still shudder at the memory of my mum calling out my full name. Anyway, I digress :) He ran to where I was sitting on the bed and quickly threw his arms around my waist. Next thing I heard him say was, "I wov you." Even as I was struggling not to crack a smile, Ikem started singing Barney's "I love you". I started laughing and forgave him immediately, just like I'm sure he expected me to. I was impressed as I thought of how my twenty one-month old son completely turned things around in his favou...

Ten days ago, a friend of mine died, having her third child. I cried for her because she had been young. I thought about the fact that for her, eternity had begun and I wondered if she had been ready to stand before God. That made me wonder about my readiness to meet the Lord and I wept some more. I thought of the fact that there had been quite a number of things we had in common. We hadn't been  separated  by distance but, for some reason, we had not been as close as we could have been. I asked myself if I could have done more and I got a resounding 'Yes!' Chisom had been on my mind, a lot, for about a week before she passed on. I just put it down to her time of delivery being close. Then, one morning, I heard that she was gone forever. I thought of her very young babies who were going to grow up without their mother. That brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I thought of my own babies and I just couldn't imagine them going through life without me. ...

I had a lot of conflict in my heart about posting a horrible video I saw last night. This conflict stemmed from the fact that each time I write, it’s not about sensationalizing a subject but about creating awareness. I also know that this video might actually give some sick people out there a high. However, I know that watching this video would stir up the right emotions in a lot of hearts and just maybe, this madness would be curbed. Shame on anyone who watches this video and feels anything but horror and may God punish anyone who watches it and gets even the least bit of pleasure from it. I was minding my business last night when I got  this video . It elicited in me a whole lot of emotions. I was horrified. I was very angry. I was very sad. I shed tears about it and I hurt for that poor little child. For goodness sake, what sort of a human being does that to a child?! That baby certainly couldn’t have been more than six months. She could barely crawl. Who but a d...

On Sunday night, about past 10pm, I suddenly got an itch to remove the hair extensions I had on. I mentioned this to my husband whom I had been chatting with. He reminded me that it would soon be morning and suggested that I wait till the next day to go to the salon. I had been home all day but the thought of a new hairdo had not crossed my mind. Suddenly, by 10pm, it became a do-or-die affair. I just had to get  that  hair off my head. For some reason, anytime I get tired of hair extensions or braids of any sort, I'm usually very impatient to remove them. This time was no different. So, I whined and cajoled.... I was very hot, I had a case of dandruff so my scalp was itchy and I wanted to wash it that night, I wanted my own hair... Every excuse, I gave it till I wore the Mister down. Now, the poor guy had never removed hair extensions before. So, he didn't know how to. I re-assured him that it was easy and proceeded to teach him how to do it without me loosing all...

One night a little over two weeks ago, when my husband came home from work, I met him at the door with our daughter. I put my arms around him and hugged him and quickly noticed that Nwando was jostling for space too. This was very funny as she was trying to get me out of the way so that she could hug her daddy too. While the Mister and I laughed, I held on even tighter and she struggled even harder.  After a short while, I moved aside so she could give him her own share of the hugs. She quickly clambered up his body (an advantage she has over me seeing as I'm a lot heavier than she is) and wrapped her arms and legs around him. As soon as she had secured her position, she said, "This mummy took all the space." Her father and I burst into laughter at that. Very quickly, I realized that what had just happened was very similar to what happens when two women fight over a man. They expend all their energy while, in most cases, he sits back, puts his feet up and laps up ...

I really love cooking but there are times when I just don't want to bother with all of that. One night, a few nights ago was one of such times.  All day, I had been extremely busy and by evening, all I could think of as dinner, for the Mister, was something simple that didn't need a whole lot of work.  I finally settled on boiling some slices of yam for him to be eaten with egg stew.... Very easy meal. A short while later, I realized that for some reason, the yam was ready but had black marks on them. Of course, black marks don't change the taste of yam nor have they ever killed anybody but, I didn't like how those slices of yam looked after all, eye must chop first. However, while my husband is a man's man and as rugged as they come :), sometimes, he's a baby about certain things. (Babe, you know I love you still, right?) Anyone who's married, for any length of time, knows that sometimes,  teeny weeny things become really big issues, if not hand...

Yesterday morning, I was watching a programme on Disney Junior channel with my twenty-month old son, Ikem, when the theme song came on during a break. I sang along with them while Ikem danced. (Yes, I'm a mother so I watch  that  channel and I know all the songs too. Well, when I don't exactly know the words, I act as back-up singer to my three-year old daughter, Nwando.) At a point, though, the words of the first line suddenly struck me as ridiculous. I found it really amusing too. I'm going where the sky is bluer I understood perfectly, how beautifully that line fits in the song.  It's a part of a lovely song that highlights all the beautiful things about the channel. It is also, very perfect and appropriate for their target audience... Individuals a LOT younger than me :) However, I thought it was ridiculous for an adult to hold on to the belief that the sky is bluer in some places, since it's the same sky everywhere after all. Then, I remembered th...

In the latest season of Desperate Housewives, Tom and Lynette Scavo made a decision to seperate for a while. Anyone who has followed the series avidly over the years wouldn't be too surprised that, FINALLY, the cracks in their seemingly great relationship would become obvious to them. While they generally run a tight ship, Lynette's need for complete control and Tom's unwillingness to step up to the plate and handle certain responsibilities was bound to cause problems someday. As this season plays out, Tom starts dating someone else and eventually, Lynette does too. They even get physically intimate with their new partners. In episode sixteen, the subject of Tom taking the next step in his new relationship comes up. He had made the decision to move in with his new girlfriend of barely three months. Watching that particular episode, I was sitting on my couch and thinking, "This can't be happening! They are still married to each other." It was clear to me t...

I saw the picture on this article yesterday, for the first time. I had cause to really look at it again, this afternoon. I see in this picture, a man with his lips pursed in intense concentration. His tongue is sticking out a bit too. He, obviously, is engrossed in what he's doing. I see the glasses he's wearing to aid his sight. I see the eyes behind those glasses, intently focused on his task. I see his task. And, what a task too! I see his stubby nails with some stains on them and I see his calloused thumb. They point to the fact that he, most likely, works with his hands. I am drawn again to his task. In those hands, are a needle and a thread. His goal is to pass a thread through the eye of the needle. That's a mundane task, right?  Not exactly so when you realize that his thread is lot bigger than the eye of his needle. Stupid man, eh? A thick thread with a jagged end cannot possible go through that tiny needle! Crazed lunatic? Oh, well, his eyes do seem a little ...

When I was seven years old, my best friend (at the time) and I had, for some reason, fallen out. We were in the same class and part of a circle of friends. None of the others took sides with either of us..... except one person. This mutual friend, immediately, stopped talking to me. I didn't know why but, I reciprocated and just like that, we stopped being friends. My best friend and I were family friends so it wasn't long before our parents noticed that we weren't friends anymore. At her home, one Sunday evening, there was some dramatic peace-making session where we had to hug each other and blah, blah, blah. Anyways, that was the end of our 'enmity'. We became friends again. Of course, the next day in school, all our friends noticed. Our mutual friend, who had taken sides with her, immediately tried to get chummy with me again. I didn't let her get close, at all. That was the beginning of a silent war between us. I remember telling anyone who asked...

A friend once told me, "The best thing about being with other people's children is that when you're done having fun with them, you can give them back." I had laughed very hard at that. This was because that had been said at a time Ikem had stayed up late at night, refusing to sleep and preferring to watch Barney, instead. Of course, super mummy had to stay up with him, while grumbling about the fact that I needed to get some much-deserved rest. While that had been said as a joke, after I had thought about it, I realized it was something to take very seriously. Growing up, in Nigeria, the extended family system worked just fine. There were grandparents, aunties, uncles and neighbours even who watched out for other people's children. Those that had them were lucky. This was because, even when the parents were not there, a child would still be under the watchful eye of a responsible adult. Children were said to belong to the entire community and not just to th...