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Ten days ago, a friend of mine died, having her third child. I cried for her because she had been young. I thought about the fact that for her, eternity had begun and I wondered if she had been ready to stand before God. That made me wonder about my readiness to meet the Lord and I wept some more.

I thought of the fact that there had been quite a number of things we had in common. We hadn't been separated by distance but, for some reason, we had not been as close as we could have been.
I asked myself if I could have done more and I got a resounding 'Yes!'
Chisom had been on my mind, a lot, for about a week before she passed on. I just put it down to her time of delivery being close. Then, one morning, I heard that she was gone forever.

I thought of her very young babies who were going to grow up without their mother. That brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I thought of my own babies and I just couldn't imagine them going through life without me.

I see her husband often and he looks really sad. Not only has he lost his companion, his life is now completely different from the one he had dreamt of.

Six days ago, another friend of mine passed on.
 I hadn't seen that coming because she had been young and very vibrant. I hadn't known that she was ill so, the news of her death was a devastating shock to me.

We had lost touch for many years but, when we re-connected almost two years ago, we tried to stay in touch. There had been lots of chats between us and we had planned to see sometime last year but it hadn't worked out.
I had been in the town she lived in, during Easter. But, she hadn't known that because I completely forgot to tell her. Life had been just too busy at the time and I had been unable to see all my friends that I had planned to. But, I wasn't too worried because I thought that I could always see them some other time.
I will never see Chinwe again, though. Her time was almost up but I hadn't known that.

She left behind, two young sons. Children are said to be resilient but, I wonder how one gets over the loss of a mother.

We always make plans for the next day. It is more important to make plans for forever. Where would you love to be when you're gone from sight? Besides dreaming, start now to make those plans and get them to work so that your dreams may true.

We, sometimes, put off certain things because we think tomorrow might be a better day to do them. It is important to realize that tomorrow may never come. So;

  • Give those hugs and make them long. If you were to go now, don't leave any doubts in the minds of those you love.
  • Make those calls even if all you have to say is, "Hey, I just thought of you."
  • Smile to that neighbour and say a prayer for them because you may not be able to stand in the shoes they have to walk in.
  • Forgive that person who hurt you.
We leave the right words unspoken either because we think we don't know how to say them or because we think the moment is not right. It is important to say all those words when you can because when it's over, it really is over.

While we may hope to be surrounded with love as we set off on that journey we all must take alone, it is more important that arms which are warm and welcoming receive us when we get to our destination.

I came across this poem and would love to share with you.

Gone From My Sight
by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,

hull and spar as she was when she left my side.

And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"

there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices

ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...


To anyone who has ever lost someone;
May the Lord comfort you and may He dry your tears.
Soon, you will smile again but in your joy, never forget that someday, you too will be gone from sight.


  1. The finality of scary

  2. Well said Sis. Very well said.
    Two days ago, someone at work really got under my skin and I planned to get even cos I was justified. So on my way to work yesterday, I was already plotting in my mind on what I'll d do to get back at the person and I just heard God ask me this-What if you never make it to the office because I took your life away before you got there? Then it hit me- Forgive and let go! Our thoughts and actions should always keep eternity in view.

    Father please teach us to number our days that we might apply our hearts to wisdom.
    Adieu Chinwe and Chisom :(

  3. Very well said ola.
    Today makes it nine yrs since my mum passed on. I was supposed to travel home the weekend before she died but I postponed the trip to the next week.On Monday I got a call from my father that my mum was dead.Even though I know she is gone to be with the Lord;I keep having this feeling that if I had gone home that weekend maybe she wldnt have died.
    I have learnt to do things at the appropriate time and never post pone them.

  4. Hazel; Yeah, when it's over, it truly IS over.

    Ujuu; Thanks, sis.It's important to have ears that hear God speak about every situation. That puts us in check a lot of the time.

    Fifi; I'm sorry for the loss of your mum. Great decision you made. Procrastination only delays what we have to do; it doesn't make them go away.

  5. something worth thinking about.....

  6. Funty; I'm glad you think so too :)

  7. Anonymous6:41 pm

    This encapsulates the feeling we had when my mother-inlaw passed. It was devastating, yet a constant reminder of our own passing. Ola, u have brought closer home with this piece. A lot to think about. Omalichaa.

  8. Omalichaa; I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
    Yeah, each time anyone close to us dies, it reminds us of our own mortality.How long that reminder lasts determines what we do next.

  9. Oh wow! Really heartbreaking. May she rest in peace and may the Lord comfort your hurting hearts and be there for her family

  10. Dosh; AMEN!!!! Thanks, girl.

  11. Apt... Makes you really take stock... and a quote i saw recently comes to mind. 'What if you wake up with only the things you thanked God for Last Night'?

  12. Nas; That's a sobering quote. That means, if you forgot to thank God for your life, then....
    *Note to self

  13. Colettooo6:11 am

    Hmmmmmmm! Death! Dearie sometime last year I went thru this phase! Losing some dear friends! A death of a mother is irreparable! May God spare us for our loved ones! Sobering Ola!
    Love u dearie!

    Uju darl ! How u dey!

  14. Anonymous8:06 am

    Happen to be trying to find this and learned much more than anticipated in this article. Thanks.

  15. Anon 08:06; You're welcome :)


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