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Someone dear to me offended me, a whole lot, yesterday. 
Enraged, I reacted in a manner that went against everything that I believe. I wasn't thinking about that at the time, though. I broke a lot of rules. That, certainly, wasn't my best moment.
I wasn't only enraged because my good intentions had been misconstrued and completely twisted to mean something else.
I was enraged at the way they had arrogantly assumed that, because they had thought the true situation had been a particular way, then they were right.
I was enraged because, both of us had got our wires  crossed but they had stubbornly refused to see that.

That was an altercation that should never have happened because it just didn't make any sense! Prior to that, we had been enjoying each other's company. In a matter of minutes, though, we were tearing each other apart in ways we knew would hurt the most. We had, totally, ruined what had been a good time.     
The fight ended with both of us nursing our wounds in separate corners. Hours later, while putting things away in my house, I noticed that I had just picked up a plastic bag with the inscription "DOING THE RIGHT THING".  I scrutinized the bag and saw that there were other inscriptions on it. However, that had been the only one that caught my eye. The bag actually said 'Plan A: DOING THE RIGHT THING'. That, certainly, was no coincidence.

You see, I believe in a God who uses absolutely ANYTHING He chooses, to get our attention. He could have spoken to me but He knew I would have tuned out His voice so He chose an inanimate object. I was awed and that got me thinking.
I wondered what the right thing was in this situation. Hey! I had done nothing wrong in the first place, right?
I had actually been disrespected by an assumption that I would give less than my best. Grrr!!!!!
I, absolutely, abhorred being spoken to arrogantly or rudely, not because I have any delusions of grandeur but because that was just not right!
Bottom line: I did nothing wrong. I had only given as good as I had got. Case closed.
Case closed? Case closed?!! Ola!!!! Think again and this time, lose the self-righteous anger. *Rolling eyes at self*
Okayyyyyyyy, I'm going to be calm now and think, rationally.
What could I have done differently?
How could I have prevented the situation from going downhill?
What, about my attitude, exacerbated the situation?
Think, Ola, think.

One afternoon, some months ago, Nwando had come home from school and after homework and lunch, she was obviously tired . I sent her off to their room to take a nap. When I noticed she wasn't ready to sleep, I allowed her turn on the television in their room. After a while, though, the tiredness got the better of her and she started throwing one of her legendary tantrums.
I was really busy. So, I didn't spare the time to try and talk her into a good mood. Wherever I went, she followed me, saying that I was 'looking for her trouble'. She was going to report me to everybody on a long list of names too.
Normally, I would have shushed her but, this time, I was really amused. I didn't laugh, though. I completely ignored her. I didn't utter a word to her and, for me, that was no mean feat. I, simply, continued with the chores I had been doing.
Her frustration mounted. It was obvious she wanted a reaction. After she had carried on in that manner for some minutes, she suddenly sat down, all her energy depleted. I was doing the dishes in the kitchen at the time. So, she came to the door and apologized, very sweetly, for 'mouthing off' (her words)... She sure loves using big words :). She told me to come for a kiss, from her, because she was sorry.
At that point, I was really glad that I had let her figure out, by herself, that she had been wrong.  The fact that she had thought to apologize, even though I didn't even scold her, blew my mind because I realized it was because of her innocent heart.

I am, constantly, learning how to be a better person from my daughter and she's barely three years old. I see through her, exactly, how God wants each of us to be. It's amazing!
So many times, we hurt people and rationalize away the need to apologize. A little girl made me resolve, that day, to become even better at saying 'I'm sorry.' Yesterday, I forgot about that lesson but thinking about it later, I knew I just had to do the right thing. I had to stop making excuses for my bad behaviour.
So, as I write this, I've let go of the anger and bitterness. I admit that I could have done better, really. I could have kept my cool and just maybe, my friend would have figured out how wrong they had been. Even if they hadn't, I wouldn't have lost my inner peace. I have apologized for the role I had played because I realize that I, and no other person, am responsible for my actions and reactions. I hope I always remember that and not fail this test again. *Deep sigh*. I really have to do this apologizing thingy more often. Doing that, this morning, felt just right and it gave me back the peace I had lost within me.

It is what it is, though.... Doing the right thing has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings. It has everything to do with doing what God would have me do... All the time. Hmmm, that one go hard, sha. But, I can! Yes, I can! He will give me the grace to.


  1. Anonymous7:50 pm

    Hahaaaaa we r all guilty of that...i think the most imp thing is realising we r wrong and set the record straight!! Good job girl!!

  2. Colettoo8:57 pm

    Hahahaahaah! Olanwababy, the apology part is the most difficult for us all even when know your right! May God help us! This is good! Keep it up!

  3. Ha ha ha ! I no fii chout! Nice one girl! I feel u!g

  4. Wow! wat a BEST line is doing wat God ll have u to do and the lil angel realising she's guilty and apologising is the best way to soothe it away and she made the bold step to do. 'I AM SORRY', lil phrase bt pulls weight.....hhmmm. U CAN DO IT, Girlie, YES U CAN! Good job!!!!

  5. Its not easy saying 'sorry' when one Ȋ̝̊̅§ wrong not τ̅☺ talk of when one feels believes he or she Ȋ̝̊̅§ correct.I have learnt something from this write up.Good work Ola

  6. Thanks, people!!!
    Our pride sure makes it a LOT difficult to apologize for anything. It takes the grace of God to cast all that aside and just.... do the right thing ;)

  7. How difficult it is to say sorry especially when u feel u have been wronged!we pray for grace!holding grudges takes away one's peace.ola dear this piece is Thot provoking...may God help us!

  8. Amen o,Noma. May God help us all. Thanks, girl!

  9. Sowie hard o!But i think d hardest part is been silent when someone is gettin on your nerves especially when you know you are so right. God help us all

  10. Tuoyo. that silence part, eh.... Kai!

  11. Ogonnaya8:07 pm

    Olaedo oh oh! why do you keep doing this to me??? Your write ups teach the hardest lessons, eish!!! Please Lord help me do that which you'll have me do....It's real tough but i resolve this day to try

  12. Ogo, it's really interesting that you commented on a day I lost my cool... Again! This time though, it was with a stranger who recklessly cut me off in major traffic and almost hit my car.
    All I'll say's that he just might remember my car and not do that again. *Embarrased face* Phew! This thing is hard, jare..... Keeping calm in the face of provocation of any sort.

    Mantra: I'll keep trying... I'll keep trying... I'll keep trying... I'll keep trying...........


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